The Sledding Hill, stage adaptation.

Eric Schlich
Copyright © August 2006 All rights reserved.
Read an Excerpt


Kentucky library and theater fans adapted and performed their own version of THE SLEDDING HILL in August of 2006. This is their script. Many thanks to Kelli Dean for sharing their hard work. To read the full script, click on EXCERPT (obviously, it's not an excerpt).
Excerpt

The Sledding Hill by Chris Crutcher
Stage adaptation by Eric Schlich

Script Structure

ACT I

SCENE I
1. Dead body. (Billy)
2. Eddie finds body.
3. Billy speaks...staying for Eddie.
4. Eddie- background: (IQ Test, ADD, Dog Collar, Sunday School -> Tarter)
5. Sheriff (Was Billy still alive when you found him?)

SCENE II
6. Eddie freaks (two voices) / 1st bump (Sledding Hill)

SCENE III (SPLIT: House/School)
7. Dinner Scene- Tarter, Mom, Eddie
8. 1st day of school- RML, Ms. Lloyd, Warren Peece, Dan AND Montana
9. Dinner #2- Overt for Tarter
10. School- classroom (Kids LOVE the book)
11. Principal’s office (Mr. West, Ms. Lloyd)
12. Classroom- Eddie keeps book. (Montana: my Dad?)

ACT II

SCENE I (SPLIT: School/Church)
1. Furnace/boiler room secret reading (Eddie/Billy’s Dad) Montana
Red Brickers (Maxwell West/Tarter)
2. YFC Meeting- Chad (gay) and Dan
3. Ms. Lloyd/Principal
Eddie returns book (on her side)
4. Eddie speaks to Tarter (baptism)

SCENE II
5. Bump- Billy/Eddie- Freedom, Good Guys/Bad Guys (Tarter’s past)

SCENE III
6. Testimony
7. Coffee Shop?
8. SCHOOL BOARD MEETING -> Climax
9. Book Banned
10. Monologues?
11. Billy’s Exit

The Sledding Hill by Chris Crutcher
Eric Schlich

Characters

Billy Bartholomew-

Eddie Proffit-

Reverend Tarter-

Mr. Bartholomew-

Ms. Lloyd-

Mrs. Proffit-

Montana West-

Danielle Turner-

Chad Nash-

Maxwell West-

Mrs. Madison-

Sheriff-



Groups

Red Brickers- (3) Tarter, Mrs. Madison, Sheriff

YFC Members- (3) Danielle, Chad, Eddie

Ms. Lloyd’s class- (4) Montana, Danielle, Chad, Eddie

School Board- (3) Tarter, Mrs. Madison, Sheriff






The Sledding Hill by Chris Crutcher
Eric Schlich

Act I: Scene I

Billy enters, stares down at body beneath sheetrock.

Billy: Hey, I’m Billy Bartholomew. I mean, I was Billy Bartholomew. I’m dead now, (indicating body) as you can see.

The good news is: there’s no pain. After I kicked over that pile of Sheetrock in Bear Creek High’s gym I looked to a spot beside me and suddenly I’m at that spot looking back at a seriously expired Billy Bartholomew.

You see, when you first die, you don’t know you’re dead. You know something’s way different, but you’ve been playing the Earthgame with such intensity, it’s hard to realize you’ve just stepped out of it.

But, the longer you’re dead the clearer you become what the deal is: that your Earth life, which seemed to last a long fourteen years, wasn’t even a subatomic blip in eternal time. You laugh at all the crazy considerations you had while playing the Earthgame because you were so focused on the things you thought were important.

Once you’re dead again- which is like being truly alive- you can haul yourself around eternity at soul-boggling speeds. Earth scientists consider the speed of light to be the ultimate speed. We travel at the speed of imagination.

Death’s definitely the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Eddie runs in.

That’s Eddie, my best friend. It figures he’d be the one to find my body.

Eddie frantically attempts to free Billy’s body from the Sheetrock. Billy stops, turns, watches, shakes his head.

I could take off right now. But it looks like Eddie just went into a dark room in his Earthgame- two loved ones dead in one month, his dad and his best friend, and he found them both.

Let it never be said that Eddie Proffit doesn’t know what to do when he finds a dead body. He bikes straight out to Bear Creek’s Sledding Hill, the one we always go down on in the winter, lays on his back, looks up at the clouds, and tries to make what he’s just seen into a fantasy.

Eddie runs out.

I think I’ll hang around a second, universe time, and help Eddie out.

In case you think that’s some big sacrifice, you should know that I can hang around and at the same time whip back and forth rediscovering the knowledge of eternity, which I left at the doorstep when I entered Earth. You did, too. So did Eddie.

But the unique thing about Eddie is: he’s the only person I know who has gut-level knowledge of how life on Earth is connected to life in the universe.

Let me tell you about my friend, Eddie Proffit.

Lights dim. Stage is cleared. Single light keeps focus on Billy. Eddie enters behind him.

Most kids think Eddie Proffit’s stupid because he asks questions no one else thinks of. His mind bounces from one thing to the other pretty much however it wants and long before he’s finishing up one thought, he’s on the something else.

I was Billy Bartholomew, smartest kid in school, which was supposed to be a minor miracle because my father’s the school janitor.

Mr. Bartholomew comes on stage sweeping, passing by. Pays no attention to Billy. Greets Eddie.

So why was I hanging out with a kid with an IQ short of triple digits? Truth is, Eddie’s IQ was off the charts. When Eddie scored a 65 on the test, my dad asked him what happened. You know what he said?

Eddie: Well, Mr. Bartholomew, I was answering the questions and when I saw what a neat pattern I was making filling in those little ovals, I began to make neater and neater patterns!

Mr. Bartholomew: You weren’t reading the questions?

Eddie: I wasn’t even keeping it to one answer per row. Did you see my answer sheet? It looks really cool.

Billy: So my dad talked to the principal, Mrs. Madison, who was about to put Eddie in special ed classes.

Mrs. Madison enters.

Mr. Bartholomew: The kid scored a 65 without even reading the questions!

Mrs. Madison: I really don’t think Eddie would score any higher if he retook the test.

Mr. Bartholomew: I know he would.

Mrs. Madison: I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.

Mr. Bartholomew helps Eddie with the test.

Billy: Dad couldn’t be stopped so easily. He had a key to every file drawer in the school. So he helped Eddie retake the test, five questions at a time. After Eddie added a hundred points to his score, he didn’t take any special ed classes.

Mr. Bartholomew and Mrs. Madison exit.

But because Eddie asked strange questions when teachers said something he thought couldn’t be true, he was still considered a pain in the neck.

Rev. Tarter enters.

That’s Reverend Tarter. Eddie and I have been anticipating Tarter in our lives for some time. Under normal circumstances a sinner could avoid him by simply staying away from church, but he’s also one of Bear Creek High’s English teachers: impossible to get away from. Sunday school is where Eddie first ran afoul of Tarter.

Tarter: Jonah spent three days and three nights in the belly of the ‘great fish,’ the whale, and...

Eddie: What kind of protective rain gear did Jonah have?

Tarter: Clears his throat. Excuse me?

Eddie: My dad told me the digestive juices in a human stomach are strong enough to dissolve a jawbreaker like a cube of sugar in hot water. A whale’s gotta have at least as strong digestive juices as us, right? And if Jonah’s in there wearing his regular Bible clothes, it seems like they’d get seriously eaten up.

Tarter: No, Eddie. God was taking care of Jonah.

Eddie: I know. You already said that. So did he give him a special suit? Or did he just make the whale’s stomach acids not work? That’s no fair to the whale. I mean, even if he’s gonna spit Jonah up whole, there has to be a bunch of other stuff down there he needs to digest. I mean, whales suck everything in, did you know...

Tarter: EDDIE! Being a true Christian is about having faith. It is disrespectful to question lessons from the Bible. What you hear in this room is true. I want you to remember that.

Billy: I hated it when Eddie got in trouble. So we pooled out money and bought one of those electric dog collars you use to keep the dog from peeing in the house. As he speaks he walks over and snaps dog collar to Eddie’s ankle. It sort of worked. The idea was solid in theory, problematic in execution.

Tarter: Then Moses parted the Red Sea to lead his people out of Egypt away from the Pharaoh’s...

Eddie: Wait. What about the sea life at the bottom? I could see how the fish could just swim off to the side and stay where the water is, but what about crustaceans at the bottom? Wouldn’t they have dried up or drown in the air?

Tarter: Eddie, God takes care of all his creatures.

Eddie: Yeah, I know and I won’t even count the chipmunk my mom killed in the car on the way to school Friday...

Tarter: Eddie...

Eddie: But did he move them over so they could be under the water or did he just make it okay for them to be dry?

Tarter: EDDIE...Anger and frustration rises.

Eddie: Because the way I see it...

Billy: Sorry Eddie. Pulls out remote control, pushes button as Eddie speaks.

Eddie: All the Israel guys would be stepping on them, but...
EEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Screams from electric shock.

Tarter: EDDIE!!!

Eddie: Breathing heavily. It’d give Moses’s people a lot better traction.

Tarter: ENOUGH.

Grabs Eddie by the wrist, stands him up, and spreads his arms out like a crucifix, then leans him against wall as if in a chair.

Tarter: Did your father put you up to this?

Eddie: Up to what?

Tarter: All these foolish questions.

Eddie: I thought you said there was no such thing as a foolish question.

Tarter: He is putting you up to this.

As Eddie shakes his head no, he falls on his butt. Mr. Proffit enters w/ truck tire and wrench. Eddie runs off, watches from afar.

Billy: John Proffit and Sanford Tarter were exact opposites. They always resented each other. Mr. Proffit was a believer only in what he could see and touch. He ran the last all service gas station in Bear Creek, Idaho. Mr. Proffit and Reverend Tarter were always arguing down there.

Tarter: Now, Mr. Proffit, you really should attend service with your wife more.

Mr. Proffit: Listen, here Tarter. I don’t need more religion from you! I get enough of it from my wife. Now, unless you need a tire fixed or to fuel up, I suggest you get out.

Tarter: Mr. Proffit, surely you want your son to grow up with the proper morals and values.

Mr. Proffit: I figure he’s got enough sense in him to learn as he goes. Eddie’s a smart kid. And I’ll be here to help him out when the time comes. I’m his father, Tarter. Me. I’d hate for you cross the line in my house!

Tarter: Yes, but you see...I’m not sure if you’re...if you have...if...

Mr. Proffit: OUT!

Tarter leaves. Eddie runs through. Mr. Proffit grabs his arm.

Mr. Proffit: Careful there, son.

Eddie: Dad, Billy and I are going to hike out to Sledding Hill! Wanna come?

Mr. Proffit: Sorry, son, I gotta finish these tires.

Eddie: Approaching tire. It’ll go a lot faster if I help out!

Mr. Proffit: EDDIE! How many times have I told you how dangerous the lock ring on a tire is? If it isn’t locked, it might as well be a bomb! It’ll take your head right off your body. Now step back.

Eddie: Jeez, Dad. I wasn’t going to do anything.

Mr. Proffit: I’m sorry, buddy, I just don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.

Eddie: OK, but you don’t have to tell me the same thing eight jillion times.

Mr. Proffit: Sorry, kiddo. Go catch up with Billy. Have fun.

Eddie heads off stage. Mr. Proffit goes back to work on the tire. Lights suddenly go out. Loud boom echoes. Lights come back on to reveal Mr. Proffit dead on stage.

Eddie: Dad? Runs off after seeing body.

Mrs. Proffit passes with Reverend Tarter consoling her.

Billy: Things got worse from there. After Eddie’s Dad died, his mom’s brain got kidnapped by Tarter and the Red Brick Church. She went on and on about God’s plan. Well, Eddie figured if God’s Plan included his dad taking a bite out of an exploding lock ring, then God can plant a big one on Eddie’s keister. Today he was up at the Sledding Hill having some words with God.

Eddie enters on Sledding Hill. Yells upward.

Eddie: What gives you the right to choose who stays and who goes on this stupid planet? Why do you have the power to decide, anyway? I hate you for this! I hate you for taking him away from me! It’s not fair. It’s not right. I won’t ever let you do it again!

Storms across stage.

Billy: About an hour later he found my body in the school gym. Turning it into a fantasy didn’t work so well this time.

The sheriff enters and runs to meet Eddie.

Sheriff: Eddie?

Eddie looks up, tears in his eyes.

Sheriff: Eddie, you found Billy, right? Under the Sheetrock?

Eddie nods.

Sheriff: Did you try to pull him out?

Eddie nods.

Sheriff: Eddie, I need you to listen carefully. Places hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Was he still alive when you were trying to pull him out?

Eddie’s eyes widen. He falls to the ground in tears.

Billy: I have a feeling it will be awhile before anyone hears another word from Eddie Proffit.

Act I: Scene II

Eddie sits in chair/couch in living room, watching “tv” out at audience (or reading?). Mrs. Proffit enters. Billy sits close by.

Mrs. Proffit: Eddie. It’s time for church. Now get up. Walks over and pulls on his hand. Come on Eddie. Eddie shrugs her off. Listen, honey. Sits next to him. I miss him, too. And Billy. But you can’t just close off the world because it hurts. Please come to Reverend Tarter’s sermon. I always feel better after praying to the Lord. You will, too. Eddie is non-responsive. Mrs. Proffit sighs and stands. Well you have to start talking sometime. Turns and heads off stage. There’s chicken in the fridge. Exits.

Billy: When you’re dead there are a few people you can bump and Eddie is a prime candidate. There is a microminisecond when his brain is in mid bounce from one subject to the next when I can talk to him. But you can’t do it just anytime, because when you weigh only twenty-one grams- the difference between a live body and that same body croaked- you are light, feathery, and too subtle to just barge into someone’s mind. You need an in. And lately Eddie’s been too busy being deranged and seeing my dead body in his mind, which clogs up all his avenues.

Thunder sounds. Stage lights flicker. Eddie tightens up, holds onto a pillow.

I’d help him out, but all his windows are slammed, nailed, and painted shut. If only he would...

Eddie: Turn into the slide.

As Billy talks, Eddie and Mr. Proffit arrange themselves on two levels. Eddie holds a steering wheel.

Billy: Yeah, turn into the slide! You see, Eddie’s dad taught him how to drive his pick-up on ice once. He sat him between his legs so he could operate the steering wheel while he did the brakes. Then Mr. Proffit would put the truck into a slide.

Mr. Proffit: Everything in you will tell you to turn the wheel away from the direction of the slide, Eddie. But that will just throw you further out of control. You have to turn into it.

Eddie: OK, I’ll try...

Eddie turns away from the slide. Sound of car screeching/skidding. Eddie and Mr. Proffit lean as if sliding. Eddie: Woah!!!!!

Mr. Proffit: What did I tell you? Don’t do what your mind tells you. Turn into the slide, Eddie.

Eddie: I’ll try again.

Eddie turns into the slide (opposite way). Eddie and Mr. Proffit straighten out.

Mr. Proffit: There you go, son! You did it.

Mr. Proffit exits. Eddie returns to the couch.

Billy: To Eddie, it seemed like saying “yes” while shaking his head no. But there was a free feeling to it, like he’d tricked the universe, or at least discovered one of its minor secrets. That is the feeling Eddie seeks now. And that voice in his head is telling him to go in exactly the wrong direction to make things right.

Eddie stands up, clicks the remote control, throws the pillow down, determined. Walks over and flips out the lights. Stage goes dark.

Eddie: If you’re coming for me Billy B, just do it! Do it now and get it over with. I’m turning into the slide. I’m turning into the slide, I’m turning into the...

Billy: Ah! I can get in!

Lights come up. Lighting is different to suggest the scene takes place in Eddie’s mind, on the Sledding Hill.

Billy: Okay if I go down with you?

Eddie: I thought you were dead.

Billy: I am. Okay if I go down with you?

Eddie: If you’re dead, what are you doing here?

Billy: I’m going sledding, dummy! If you let me go down with you.

Eddie: Didn’t you bring your sled?

Billy: I’m dead. Dead kids don’t have sleds.

Eddie: Oh. Pause. So...you ever see my dad?

Billy: No. Want me to look for him?

Eddie frowns, becomes agitated.

Eddie: Look, would you just quit haunting me? I didn’t mean to kill you. I promise. Please, just leave me alone. Go away. Turns.

Billy: Eddie-

Eddie: GO AWAY!

Lights go out abruptly after Eddie’s shout.


Act I: Scene III

SPLIT SCENE:

Darkened side- classroom AND lighted side- Dining room. Four chairs. One at each head of the table (Mrs. Proffit sits at one end, the other, Mr. Proffit’s is empty). Two on long section facing audience. Tarter and Eddie sit in these. Eddie between Tarter and mother. Billy watches..

Silent for 5 seconds.

Tarter: To Eddie. Your mother tells me you’re in some distress.

Eddie stares at his plate of untouched food. Mrs. Proffit nods.

Mrs. Proffit: Eddie, we’re worried about you.

Tarter: This selective mute thing is not serving you well.

Mrs. Proffit: It would be better for all of us if we talked about it. Reverend Tarter is just here to help. Eddie?

Eddie does not look up.

Tarter: Eddie, I know it is difficult to accept what has happened. But I truly believe you can heal through God and the church. No one should isolate himself after tragedy. The Red Brick community can give you solace.

Silent. Tarter stands.

Well, I better head out. Eddie, remember what I said. Many find comfort in the Lord. I’m sure you will too.

Thank you, Mrs. Proffit for the dinner. I’ll be sure to pray for you. Come by if you need anything at all.

Mrs. Proffit: Thank you, Reverend. I will.

Tarter Exits.

Mrs. Proffit: Eddie, Reverend Tarter is a good man, he’s done so much for Bear Creek. And I know he can help you. He’s helped me. Please give him a chance. Eddie, please look at me. Eddie looks up. It doesn’t mean I loved your father any less. Eddie stands. Eddie. Speak to me. Please! Eddie shakes his head, runs off stage.

Lights dim. Focus shifts to classroom. Kids filing in. Bustle of activity stops when Eddie enters. Silent for a second- awkward. Then Ms. Lloyd enters.

Ms. Lloyd: Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Take your seats.

Class settles.

I’m Ms. Ruth Lloyd the librarian at Bear Creek High and the teacher for Really Modern Literature, where the only requirement is that you read books by authors who are still alive.

The class does have to read one book in common and because I am old and smart and you are young and...well...young, I’ve decided what book that will be. It is Warren Peece by Chris Crutcher. Begins to hand out books. Yes, Montana?

Montana: Looking at book’s cover. Why did you pick this book? I’ve never heard of it.

As Billy speaks the class freezes. (lights change?)

Billy: That’s Montana West. Her father, Maxwell West gave her the perfect cowgirl’s name, but he got a girl with more piercings than she has places for holes and tattoos that would make a Marine green with envy. The brightest color she wears is black. The craziest girl in at Bear Creek High, I swear. I’m dead and I’m afraid of Montana West.

Ms. Lloyd: I picked Warren Peece because it has a lot of bad language, and I thought that might get some of you who tend to get your book reports form the backs of cereal boxes to actually read the book cover to cover. Of course I’ll send a permission slip home and...

Danielle: Excuse me, Ms. Lloyd.

Billy: Danielle Tanner. Most popular girl in school. President of Youth for Christ, which is basically the Teen Tarter Brigade. She’s also captain of the girls soccer team and in the running for senior class valedictorian. Every guy wants to date Danielle Tanner. Every girl wants to be Danielle Tanner.

Danielle: How do we know you won’t give us an alternate book that is awful and boring just to punish us for being offended by a book you like?

Ms. Lloyd: Well, Danielle, you don’t know that. And it sounds like a good idea, so be sure to get the permission forms signed.

Montana: Holy sh-crap I mean, look at the words on page 47. What exactly is this about Ms. Lloyd?

Ms. Lloyd: Let’s just say the book covers several issues I think are worth talking about. Especially for teenagers.

Montana: Hmm. Might not be too bad.

Danielle: Ms. Lloyd are you sure this book is fit to read in school?

Ms. Lloyd: Yes, Danielle. I think everyone will find something they can relate to in Warren Peece. I’m looking forward to finding out what everyone thinks. We’ll see if you have what it takes to challenge yourself to stretch, Danielle. Hands last book to Eddie. We’ll see if we all do.

Class exits except for Eddie who crosses the stage toward the dining room setting reading Warren Peece. (Same seats, except Tarter now sits in Mr. Proffit’s chair at the head of the table.) Billy speaks as Eddie walks.

Billy: Because I’ve already ingested Warren Peece, which is pretty easy when all you have to do is pop in the author’s head, I know why the likes of Ms. Lloyd wants to use it, why the likes of Danielle Tanner doesn’t, why Montana West will actually read it and why Eddie Proffit will embrace it.

Eddie takes his seat at the table, still reading. Billy is close by.

Tarter: Your mother tells me you’ve been having unsettling dreams, Eddie. I hear you’re roaming the house at night, whimpering in agony in your sleep?

Eddie rolls his eyes from behind the book cover.

Mrs. Proffit: Eddie, put the book down. It’s impolite.

Eddie sets Warren Peece on the table, Tarter eyes it suspiciously.

Mrs. Proffit: Reverend Tarter thinks you should get baptized Eddie. I do, too.

Tarter: Yes, I’m aware many of your classmates have already been baptized, but you haven’t taken that step. Can you tell me why?

Eddie ignores him.

Tarter: Mrs. Proffit, would you mind if I talked with Eddie alone?

Mrs. Proffit: Nods. I’ll just clear away these dishes. Exits.

Tarter: The Lord works in mysterious ways, Eddie. Why do you believe God is sending you these terrors, hmm? I believe this is an important message from the Lord. It may very well be the heavenly father is telling you if you turn your life over to him these fears will subside.

Eddie looks up, surprised.

Billy: Surely, he doesn’t buy that.

Tarter: Baptism is an important step in a young man’s life. But, in our church you are required to testify before the congregation. You will have to begin speaking again.

Eddie, think of your mother. She blames herself for the trouble you’re having. She thinks there’s something she hasn’t done as a parent to help you. It’s time you gave her respite.

Billy: Same ole Tarter. Trying to guilt Eddie into the church.

Tarter: Think about what I’ve said Eddie. It’s for your own good.

Lights dim. Setting: The Sledding Hill.

Billy: So tell me again why you want to get baptized?

Eddie: To make you stop haunting me!

Billy: I’m not haunting you. I’m your best friend.

Eddie: Oh yeah? Then who’s always staring through my bedroom window at night? And rooting around in my closet?

Billy: Not me. Why would I do that to you?

Eddie: You tell me. And how come you always meet me here? It’s the middle of summer and all of a sudden there’s snow all over everything.

Billy: This is where we had some of our best times. I just thought it was a good place. Want me to meet you somewhere else?

Eddie: Nah. We did have a lot of fun here. Man, I really miss you.

Billy: I’m right here.

Eddie: Yeah, but you’re not real.

Billy: Don’t be so sure. So...baptism? What’s the deal?

Eddie: You know, I’m scared all the time.

Billy: Are you sure you need to be? Look, I gotta let you figure things out for yourself, but what good is being scared doing you?

Eddie: Man, you’re bugging me. You can be as annoying dead as you were alive.

Billy: Turn into the slide, buddy.

Eddie: Frustrated. I did that!

Billy: Look, just be careful. We’ve been dreading Tarter since fifth grade. Now you’re going into his class, his church, and he’s coming to your house?

Eddie: Bad, huh? You can predict the future or something?

Billy: Does it make sense that I can predict the future if it hasn’t happened yet? What would that do to your freewill? I don’t have to be a psychic to know that if you’re in the middle of a train tunnel and you hear a loud whistle and see a single light getting bigger, you’re in big trouble.

Eddie: Got it.

Lights dim. Split scene: classroom and principal’s office. Students are excitedly talking, each holding a copy of Warren Peece.

Chad: Have you finished it yet?

Montana: Almost.

Chad: I really liked it a lot. I felt like I could relate to the characters, you know?

Montana: Yeah. It’s pretty cool.

Chad: It’s probably the first book I’ve read that I never got bored with. Warren Peece just makes sense to me.

Montana: I know what you mean Chad.

Danielle: Well, I thought it was very offensive. I can’t believe Ms. Lloyd chose it to teach in school. So unprofessional.

Montana: Well I think it was a good choice. Ms. Lloyd actually got teenagers to read a book. That takes skills. Where is she anyway?

Danielle: Smugly. Oh, I’m sure we’ll find out soon.

Kids continue talking silently. Focus shifts to principal office. Ms. Lloyd enters.

Mrs. Madison: Ms. Lloyd, Mr. West, here, has lodged a complaint against a book you assigned to your Literature class. I believe it’s called Warren Peece?

Ms. Lloyd: That’s correct. I’ve received great responses from the students. They’re all enjoying the book.

Mr. West: Ms. Lloyd, do you really believe a book about homosexuality, abortion, drugs, and sex should be taught in school? It is absolutely disgraceful and harmful to the students. My daughter-

Ms. Lloyd: Has enjoyed the book along with the rest of her classmates. Surely Montana gave you the permission form to sign?

Mr. West: Yes, but...I didn’t realize...This is not just about my daughter, no student should be subjected to this degrading material.

Mrs. Madison: Please, let’s not fight. Ms. Lloyd, return to your classroom and collect your students’ copies of Warren Peece.

Ms. Lloyd: Mrs. Madison, there’s no reason-

Mrs. Madison: You can each state your case at Bear Creek’s next school board meeting. Until then, all copies of Warren Peece must be confiscated. Do I make myself clear?

Ms. Lloyd: Seething. Yes. Leaves office, enters classroom. Class settles. Class, I need to collect your copies of Warren Peece, please.

Begins to circulate room with box. Students deposit books.

Montana: Raises her hand. Was my dad in the office challenging this book? Is that why he was here? Is it?

Ms. Lloyd: I’m afraid I’m not allowed to divulge that information just yet.

Montana: Well then, just don’t say anything if it’s true. Is my dad trying to get the book banned?

Ms. Lloyd smiles.

Montana: Man! I can’t believe this! Hey! Does anyone in this room have parents willing to adopt me? I don’t eat much, in fact I’m practically anorexic, so I don’t eat anything. I pay for my own skin punctures and I prefer to life underground in the dark, so an unfinished basement will work just fine. I’ll use it to hunker down after I kill my father.

Ms. Lloyd: No need to break the law. Though I feel a little like it myself right now.

Folks, I’ve seen this before. They tell you it’s about family and Christian values and our need to get control over our education system. But it’s about you. That’s it. Just you. If you’re going to stop this, you’re going to have to stop it yourselves. Decide whether you think your mind is strong enough to hear tough stories told in their native tongues and let the censors know.

Holds box out for Eddie to put Warren Peece in.

There is a time in all of our lives when we must fight for what we find important, for what is close to our hearts. I can’t do it alone. You make the next move.

Eddie keeps the book.

Act II: Scene I

Boiler/Furnace room in school. Kids huddle around with open copies of Warren Peece in their laps. Billy sits close to Eddie.

Mr. Bartholomew: We did it. We’re gonna get in big trouble, but we finished it. I’m so proud of all of you.

Montana: We’ll show them.

Mr. Bartholomew: Tell you what, guys. When the school board hearing comes around, it’s not going to matter what the adults have to say. Most of our minds are made up. What will matter is what you have to say.

Chad: So how do we go about doing this?

Mr. Bartholomew: You get organized. You get a statement drawn up and you choose someone to deliver it. Someone with flair. Someone who isn’t afraid to stand up and voice their opinion.

Everyone: Turn to Montana. MONTANA!

Montana: I’ll read it. Oh, jeez, wouldn’t that be so cool? Have my dad up there saying all that crap against the book, then I’ll come right behind him and tell the whole school board he’s so full of-

Mr. Bartholomew: Let’s use our imagination on how that sentence ends. All for Montana reading your statement?

Everyone confirms enthusiastically. Billy stands, everyone freezes.

Billy: This should be interesting. If you were to call up the perfect prototype of the daughter Maxwell West didn’t order, it would by Montana. Pick a conversation, any conversation between the two and you’ll get something like this:

Montana comes forward. Maxwell West enters stage.

Mr. West: You’re not going out looking like that, young lady.

Montana: Like what?

Mr. West: Dressed like the devil himself.

Montana: The devil doesn’t look like this, Maxwell. He wears a red suit, has horns and a three pronged pitchfork. I’m dressed more like your standard cult follower or school shooter.

Mr. West: Don’t you be disrespectful with me young lady! I am your father, not ‘Maxwell.’ You will address me as such.

Montana: I won’t be disrespectful if you won’t be disrespectful.

Mr. West: What have you done lately that deserves respect?

Montana: Well, let’s see. I have a 3.7 GPA. I made the debate team and I got my driver’s license and still haven’t wrecked the car.

Mr. West: And you do nothing but embarrass me. You look like some lady of the evening.

Montana: You mean a prostitute?

Mr. West: Yes, that’s what I mean.

Montana: Striking a pose. Really, Maxwell? How much do you think I’d go for?

Mr. West: Why you little- Raises hand as if to hit her. Montana flinches slightly.

Montana: Go ahead, Maxwell. Then I’ll turn the other cheek and you can hit that one, too.

Mr. West, horrified at his raised hand, lowers it and hangs his head. Heads off stage. Montana heads back to group. Focus returns to furnace room.

Billy: It usually stops there, but one time it didn’t. Maxwell West was so horrified that he struck his daughter in the face that afterward he let her get away with murder. They love each other. I mean, if one of them died, the other would be way sorry, but neither expects the other to do that soon so they fight like gladiators. Warren Peece is definitely not the first thing that has come between them.

Mr. Bartholomew: That about covers it. I’ll see you all at the board meeting on Monday.

Kids begin to leave.

Mr. Bartholomew: Hey, Eddie, hang back for a moment, would you?

Eddie stays behind. Billy watches conversation

Mr. Bartholomew: You okay, bud?

Eddie shakes his head.

Mr. Bartholomew: Me neither. Have a seat.

Eddie sits next to him.

Mr. Bartholomew: It’s okay that you’re not talking...

Eddie: Words rush out. I miss him so much. I need to talk to him. My dad, too. I quit talking because there’s no one to talk to and now I’m going crazy. I have to get baptized to stop being scared and Tarter is such a pig. And now after I read a book that makes me feel a little less lonely, they’re taking it away from me. I just can’t handle this!

Mr. Bartholomew: Eddie, it’s okay. Breathe. Can I assume you’ve resumed oral communication?

Eddie realizes he just spoke aloud. Looks around the room, frantically.

Eddie: No, only to you. I’m not ready to talk to anyone else. Please don’t tell.

Mr. Bartholomew: Scouts honor.

Eddie breathes a sigh of relief.

Mr. Bartholomew: So you really liked Warren Peece?

Eddie: Yeah, a lot.

Mr. Bartholomew: Tell me this book banning doesn’t have Tarter’s fingerprints all over it?

Eddie: I know. Maxwell West is a big-time guy in the church. No way he does anything without Tarter knowing.

Mr. Bartholomew: When I went to school, it was all you could do to get most of us to read a book. In my day, it was Slaughterhouse Five. That book doesn’t even have a bad guy. A book about nothing but being decent, and Tarter got it removed. And back then the school board and the church board had no overlap. But he got rid of that book with his charming personality alone.

Eddie: Dang.

Mr. Bartholomew: Tell you what, Eddie Proffit, if this book is going to get read in your class, you’ve gotta be smart. Ms. Lloyd doesn’t have a chance by herself. Tarter’s got the principal and three school board members in his pocket. It’s going to take a pack of teachers and a whole bunch of kids to keep this baby on the shelf.

Eddie: Yeah, but how? Do you think Montana’s statement will be enough?
Mr. Bartholomew: I’m not sure, but I was thinking. You said you’re getting baptized?

Eddie: Pretty stupid, huh? I changed my mind, though. I can’t take much more Tarter.

Mr. Bartholomew: Now, hold on. I think you should do it.

Eddie: Get baptized? Are you crazy?

Mr. Bartholomew: No, I’m serious. If you can pretend to go along with Tarter you might learn something you can use later. Something to stop the book banning.

Eddie: You mean, like, be a spy?

Mr. Bartholomew: Yeah...like that. And you don’t have to talk. Just listen. And go along.

Eddie: That’s not a bad idea.

Mr. Bartholomew: It won’t be easy, you don’t have Billy...saddens. Sorry Eddie, I get hit sometimes. I still can’t believe...Look. I can’t take the place of your dad and you can’t take the place of Billy, but we could just, you know, stand in for a little while and help each other out. What do ya say?

Eddie: Thanks, Mr. Bartholomew. Stands. I feel a lot better. Turns to go.

Mr. Bartholomew: Good. Oh and Eddie, remember: you have rights. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And as far as Billy is concerned, remember we keep those we love alive with the acts we commit in their names.

Eddie nods, glances across the room at Billy.

Eddie: I’ll keep that in mind. Exits.

Lights dim. Focus shifts to opposite side of stage- Red Brick Church meeting.

Tarter: Quiet down please, the church meeting is now in session. Maxwell, could you please inform us on the response to your complaint.

Mr. West: Yes, Reverend. Mrs. Madison, here, was perfectly reasonable after I spoke with her about the book. All copies of Warren Peece have been confiscated in the school.

Mrs. Madison: I’m just sorry it wasn’t brought to my attention sooner.

Tarter: It happens. There are certainly good teachers and bad teachers. I like Ruth Lloyd as a person, but she’s very misguided in her curriculum choice. When Danielle Tanner brought Warren Peece to my attention, I was shocked any teacher would assign such a book in a classroom.
Mr. West: So what do we do now?

Tarter: There will be a school board hearing at some point that I expect you all to attend, but for now I think we should just sit back and watch what happens. Our position will be stronger if it’s backed by students and I’m sure Danielle Tanner, the president for Youth for Christ, has already begun to take action.

But I would like to bring up the issue of a young man who has approached me about baptism. Mr. Eddie Proffit...

Lights dim, shift back to school side. YFC meeting.

Danielle: I’ve gone through Warren Peece with a fine-tooth comb. Here are lists of all the offensive words and phrases in the book, categorized by page number. I didn’t want to ask the rest of you to read through all this garbage, so it’s all there.

Reverend Tarter says the decision goes to the school board. Look, guys, far more teachers came out against cleaning up the curriculum than not, so we need to make a big splash at the board meeting.

Monica you can cover a statement against the stance the book takes on legalizing drugs and alcohol. Chad you do the same for the issue of homosexuality and the book’s support for gay marriage. And Eddie-

Chad: I can’t.

Danielle: Sorry?

Chad: I just can’t. Exits quickly.

Danielle: What’s wrong with him? Jeez. Ok, well, where was I? Right. Eddie- I think you can be a big factor in the outcome of this challenge. People will listen to you because of all you’ve been through this year. After your baptism, I want you to give a speech against Warren Peece at the school board meeting. If you pull it off I could see you holding my position in the YFC someday. What do you say to that?

Eddie gives a thumbs up.

Just be ready to talk by then, ok? We’re counting on you.

Lights fade. Setting: Ms. Lloyd’s classroom. Mrs. Madison holds the box of books.

Mrs. Madison: Do you value your job, Ruth?

Ms. Lloyd: Of course. Why would you ask a question like that?

Mrs. Madison: A number of kids in your class finished Warren Peece.

Ms. Lloyd: Mrs. Madison, are you accusing me of something?

Mrs. Madison: I heard four students discussing the end of the book. You specifically told me you were only half way through it.

Ms. Lloyd: It is only restricted in school, not bookstores or public libraries, or any other place with a shred of common sense remaining.

Mrs. Madison: Yet, when I counted the books, I found one missing.

Ms. Lloyd: Eddie Proffit indicated he left his at home.

Mrs. Madison: Eddie Proffit doesn’t talk!

Ms. Lloyd: I said indicated. Do you really think after all Eddie’s been through...

Mrs. Madison: No, no. Of course not. Besides, he’s one of ours.

Ms. Lloyd: Excuse me?

Mrs. Madison: Eddie- never mind.

Ms. Lloyd: Mrs. Madison, did you have something to do with this challenge?

Mrs. Madison: Don’t be ridiculous, Maxwell West filed the complaint. But, it is certainly not a book I’d choose. There are a thousand good books, Ruth.

Ms. Lloyd: And Warren Peece is one of them.

Mrs. Madison glares at Ms. Lloyd and bustles out of the room. Ms. Lloyd sits down, steaming.
Focus shifts to Eddie talking with Mr. Bartholomew.

Mr. Bartholomew: Aren’t you supposed to be in class?

Eddie: I can’t believe they fired you. Mr. Bartholomew sighs. For the readings, huh?

Mr. Bartholomew: Yup. Fired for reading in school.

Eddie: Ms. Lloyd is really upset. She’s ranting like a crazy woman.

Mr. Bartholomew: She better be careful or she’ll be next. I only read the last few chapters; she brought the book into the school in the first place.

Eddie: Hey, what are you doing on Sunday?

Mr. Bartholomew: I don’t know, what am I doing?

Eddie: Coming to the Red Brick Church to hear me testify for baptism.

Mr. Bartholomew laughs.

Mr. Bartholomew: Now, that I’m going to enjoy.

Mr. Bartholomew exits, still laughing. Eddie enters Ms. Lloyd’s classroom.

Ms. Lloyd: Oh, Eddie. Hello. I was just- I’m glad you’re here. I need to talk to you.

Eddie walks over to her desk.

Ms. Lloyd: I’m sorry for all you’ve lost, Eddie. Your father...Billy...but, you see, I’ve got something I need to say. Mrs. Madison was just here and when she saw you hadn’t returned the book she said, “He’s one of ours.” I assume that means you are for banning the book.

I would never tell a student how to think, but...I hope it’s not true. I believe in stories, Eddie. I believe stories have the power to heal. I believe in ideas.

Eddie smiles, trying to signal he’s on her side.

I don’t know how I could fight against you. I hope it doesn’t happen, but I have to defend the book. I have to.

Eddie takes Warren Peece out of his backpack. Pats it against his heart.

Eddie: All done. Hands the book to Ms. Lloyd, winks and exits. She smiles.

Act II: Scene II

Billy and Eddie at the Sledding Hill.

Eddie: Okay, Billy Bartholomew, is this really you?

Billy: In the flesh, well, the spirit at least.

Eddie: Suspiciously. So...why did you come back?

Billy: Actually, I never left. I’m here to help you. I don’t want you to waste your teenage years grieving just because two people you cared about couldn’t stay in the game. I want you to know you don’t have to be afraid.

Eddie: I really don’t like you being so confident in everything. It’s all backward.

Billy: It’s what a good dose of death does to you.

Eddie: So you know all that’s been going on? I mean, with the book?

Billy: Yup.

Eddie: Man, I still can’t believe it. The guys who want the book banned thinks it’s a sin if somebody says a ‘bad’ word or has a ‘bad’ idea. They don’t even care that the characters seem like friends to people who don’t have any. I bet God’s not like that. I bet it ticks Him off big-time when he sees them using him to get their way.

Billy: It doesn’t work that way.

Eddie: Huh?

Billy: The universe isn’t like that, Eddie.

Eddie: What do you mean?

Billy: It doesn’t tick the universe off one bit. The universe is loving enough to let what happens happen. The universe has no interest in the outcome.

Eddie: But-

He is interrupted by the appearance of Chad Nash. He runs to meet Eddie. Billy steps back to let them talk.

Chad: Hey, Eddie.

Eddie nods. Chad speaks hesitantly, awkward.

So, I hear you’re getting baptized. My parents won’t let me have friends outside the church, so I’m really glad. I always wanted to be friends with you and Billy, but you guys were always off on your own.

Eddie shrugs.

YFC is coming out strong against Warren Peece. I can’t tell if you like the book or not, but I do and I’m going to have a tough time going along.

Warren Peece is the first book I’ve ever read with...with characters who seem like they could be my friends. With characters like me.

When Ms. Lloyd told us to pass the book in, I almost couldn’t breathe. It feels like I lost a friend I can’t get back.

Eddie nods in agreement. Chad is silent for a moment. Looks at the ground.

I’m gay, Eddie.

Eddie shrugs.

Man, my family. My dad’s a decatholon champion, my brother’s got a scholarship to play football at Michigan, and I’m a frigging homo.

Eddie lays his hand on Chad’s shoulder, indicating it’s ok.

Anyway, I know they want you to start talking again, but don’t tell anybody, okay?

Eddie zips his lips.

Thanks, man. I was so scared to say anything, except I was more scared not to, like I was going to blow up. I’ve been keeping it a secret for so long. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I’m scared all the time. I’m scared people will find out, scared they already know. I’m scared somebody might do something like they did with that kid in Laramie, Wyoming.

Eddie makes a fist and shakes his head. Chad smiles.

Thanks, Eddie. I just had to tell someone. You’re a good friend. See you later. Exits.

Eddie: Wow. See what I mean?

Billy: Definitely.

Eddie: I mean, I know it’s just a book but, it’s important. I can’t figure out exactly why, but I know it is.

Billy: I’ll tell you why. It’s about freedom. A guy out there writes a story and it moves your teacher who decides to see if it moves the kids. It does. You recognize it, feel the connection, and then somebody tries to take it away from you. So you get ticked off because they’re messing with your freedom.

Eddie: Yeah, you’re right.

Billy: But, it could be any book, you know? If you don’t make your stand now, you’ll make it later, because you’re wired that way. And there will always be people who are afraid and will take away your freedom.

Eddie: Man, I really hate Tarter.

Billy: Eddie!

Eddie: What?

Billy: You just don’t get it.

Eddie: What? He’s taking away our freedom...like you said...

Billy: Look. I’ll tell you this: Tarter’s never done anything to anyone half as bad as was done to him. He’s not the enemy. His ideas are the enemy. He’s doing his best.

Eddie looks skeptical. Lights dim- VOICEOVER: Tarter’s flashback: young Sandy Tarter and Mrs. Tarter.

Mrs. Tarter: You want to play with matches, Sandy? Is that what you’re doing?

Sandy: No, Momma! Please...

Mrs. Tarter: I’ll show you what fire can do to flesh!

Sandy: Don’t burn me, Momma! I won’t do it again!

Mrs. Tarter: You better pray to Jesus, little boy. Pray to Jesus. He’s the only one who can stop these little fingers from being burned black.

Sandy: Whimpering. Momma...

Mrs. Tarter: PRAY!

Sandy: Please, Jesus, please don’t let me get burned. I’ll never do it again. I promise! Please Jesus...

Focus returns to Billy and Eddie.

Billy: Eddie, you have to realize there are no bad guys in this situation. In any situation for that matter. Tarter is passionate in his belief that if adults don’t step up and protect kids, they’ll get hurt. Danielle Tanner thinks what she’s doing is for the greater good and Maxwell West is just trying to lead his daughter down the path he believes is right. These are all good people. They all want good things.

Eddie: Yeah, but they’re wrong.

Billy: Of course they are. No one can always be right, Eddie. Nothing exists without its opposite; nothing is either all good or all bad.

Billy: One kid reads a story and feels recognized and connected. Another’s offended and angered. If those two kids got together and talked about their reactions to the story, they’d know each other a little better.

But, that’s the Earthgame, you see. The game would be too easy if everyone understood, and maybe no one would want to play.

Eddie: I’ve never thought of it that way.

Billy: It never hurts to start.

Eddie: So I should be nice to Tarter?

Billy: Your job is to tell the truth. Everything’s under your control.

Eddie: I’m not sure if I’m ready. I’ve been practicing my testimony in my room, and every time I give it, it turns out different.

Billy: Hmm...I think I can help with that.

Eddie: Really?

Billy: Yeah, I’ve got a plan. A good way to keep your thoughts on track.

Eddie: Chuckles. Just like the old days. No dog collars this time, ok?

Billy laughs.

Eddie: Um...Billy...are you going to stay with me?

Billy: You won’t need me.

Eddie: Billy...

Billy: I won’t leave until you say it’s okay, how about that?

Eddie: Promise?

Billy: I promise.

Act II: Scene III

The Red Brick Church. Reverend Tarter stands at church pulpit. Sermon is given in a fire-brimstone fervor.

Ladies and gentlemen, our town is at a crossroads. We are in a battle for the hearts, minds, and souls of our children. This is a righteous war and if we win no one will lose.

Basic philosophies are at odds, friends. No clearer lines have been drawn between good and evil. It’s time for Christians to stand against words and ideas that poison young minds. Tomorrow night we’ll meet en masse at the school board meeting to be rid of Warren Peece.

I want all of you to think: ‘What would Jesus do?’ They laugh at us for asking the question, but it’s a Christian’s job to shrug off the barbs of the unfaithful and answer the tough questions. Jesus would go to that meeting and stand up for our children. Jesus would bring like-minded people, his followers and flock, and face this evil down.

Turns to Eddie who sits with Mr. Bartholomew and his mother.

We now welcome a special young man into our church; a boy who has suffered much over the past year, but who is now finding the solid ground of his faith. Please welcome Eddie Proffit...

Eddie walks up to the church pulpit, shaking. As he steps up he sees Billy standing off on the side with cue cards. He smiles. The card Billy holds says TALK.

I’m nervous. It’s been a long time since I’ve said anything. It’s scary to give your life to the Lord, but when Reverend Tarter reminds you who Jesus is, you relax. Breathes.

Billy changes the card to: DAD.

Everybody here knows my dad died last year. I used to listen to him argue with Reverend Tarter down at the service station, and when they were done I’d ask Dad how anybody was supposed to figure out which one of them was right.

My dad said ‘Do the numbers Eddie. Do the science and the numbers.’

Billy’s card: LEVITICUS.

Like if you believe in statistics, approximately one out of ten people are gay. The baptism classes tell you that’s a sin. Like, a big one. There’s this guy named Leviticus in the Old Testament who says if you do what gay people do, you’re an abomination. There aren’t many things worse than an abomination. Leviticus says, ‘the land will spue you out,’ which...I’m not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds radical.

Tarter snaps at Eddie, ‘Get on task.’ Audience is confused.

This is where my dad comes in. Science and math, remember? Ten percent. I hear over and over and over how God is a loving God. I really don’t think he’d make it a sin for ten percent of people to have sex ever.

I’m thinking, I like girls, see, but there wasn’t this day when I woke up and said, ‘I think I’ll like girls.’ So I figure it has to be the same way with being gay. You wake up one morning and say, ‘I like boys,’ only you are a boy. If you had a choice, why would you choose that? So you could get called names and beat up more in school? Just because information is church information doesn’t mean it shouldn’t include common sense.

Eddie sees Tarter rising angrily...“EDDIE!”

Guess I better wrap this up. But, man I’ve got so much more to testify to.

Church members close in on Eddie. Billy hastily writes his own cue card: RUN FOR IT. Eddie dashes to the stain glass window ledge and jumps up. Next card: JESUS.

And what would Jesus do anyway? When I look at all the people who like Warren Peece, I see that they’re the ones who never get anything from school or church. They’re ‘the least of my bretheren.’ So ‘What would Jesus do?’ He’d do what Billy’s dad and Ms. Lloyd did. He’d read this book to people, because Jesus was a guy who liked to make people feel better and that book makes some people feel better.

Billy holds up: WRAP IT UP. Eddie ignores him.

If Jesus did come back today, no one would listen to him. I mean, think about Jesus. He was a rebel. He would be right up here with me, telling you guys that kids can think for themselves and it’s okay for them to read about hard things.

In fact I might be Jesus. Billy: “Oh no...”

What about that? I might be Jesus. When he was young, there were a whole bunch of things he had to do to prove he could be the Christ. And now somebody has to come along and do it again. So maybe it’s me. Maybe one of the things I had to do was get up here out of your reach and yell at you and tell you that stupid book’s okay and why don’t you just leave us alone!

Organ begins to play. Eddie runs out.

Billy: I think he had them until the whole “I might be Jesus” thing. That was a little over the top, don’t you think?

Stage is cleared. Eddie and Mrs. Proffit enter. Billy remains on stage.

Mrs. Proffit: Enraged. I just can’t...how could you...this is the most embarassing...

Eddie: Mom...

Mrs. Proffit: No Eddie. I was so happy. So relieved that you were finally coming into the church and now...

Eddie: Mom, it’s not right. It’s just not right.

Mrs. Proffit: Eddie! Reverend Tarter says...

Eddie: I don’t care what he says, Mom! I don’t care. He’s wrong.

Mrs. Proffit: You know what, Eddie? That is just like your father! I loved the man, I really did, but it was such a struggle fighting his beliefs. He was a good man, but he was very misguided.

Eddie: You’re wrong! He didn’t die for his beliefs. It’s not like that!

Mrs. Proffit: Eddie...

Eddie: Dad...I miss him so much. Crying.

Mrs. Proffit comforts Eddie. He pulls away, then allows her to hug him.

Mrs. Proffit: I know, sweetie. I do too.

Scene change: School Board Meeting. Two distinct sides are visible: those for the book and those against it.

Mr. West: The book in question, Warren Peece, is plainly immoral. Common sense tells all of us, it is foolish to allow this poison in to our children’s minds. Nods to Board Chairperson. Thank you.

Chairperson signals Ms. Lloyd. She stands.

Ms. Lloyd: I’ve loved books all my life. I loved books I liked and I loved books I hated. I have never read a book that didn’t enrich me. I simply can’t remember a bad experience with a book.

Warren Peece has gotten wonderful responses from many of the kids who were reading it. There was lively discussion. Kids who don’t read were reading or having the book read to them, exactly the response any good teacher would normally die to have.

I sent home a permission slip, was more than willing to let parents who may have been offended have their children read an alternate book. It seems fine to me for any parent to want to object to a book and have his or her child read something else. It seems un-American to let that parent tell the school district or the parents of other children what they can and should read in school.

Mr. West: Ms. Lloyd, why didn’t you just choose something less controversial for your students to read?

Ms. Lloyd: Because your kids won’t read less controversial books.

Mr. West: Isn’t it your job to require kids to read?

Ms. Lloyd: You are offering me a solution that makes kids hate to read. That is simply not acceptable.

Mr. West: What they read is just as important as that they read.

Ms. Lloyd: That’s absurd. They have to want to read, first.

More shouts cause confusion. Chaos breaks out between the sides. Adults cast insults until:

Mr. Bartholomew: Hey! Hey! Why don’t we let the kids speak?

Ms. Lloyd: Yes, it really should be up to them.

Tarter: I agree. I know YFC has prepared an excellent presentation.

Danielle steps forward, takes podium.

Danielle: Thank you, Reverend Tarter. Not all of the students enjoyed Warren Peece. The members of Youth for Christ find the book highly offensive. And as the President...

Chad: I don’t!

Adults turn toward Chad.

Chad: I’m a member of Youth for Christ and I like the book. I like it because...I’m gay. And I’m scared. I’m so scared I can’t see straight, because I believe in God and I don’t want to go to hell, but I know I can’t change who I am. When I read Warren Peece I felt better. And then they took it away.

Second of silence.

Chad: And...I feel awful right now because I know everybody is going to hate me. But, I’m glad I said it, because I’d rather have you hate me than hold this secret inside me anymore!

Reverend Tarter stands up.

Tarter: Can’t you see what is happening here? Here is a boy who feels the decision to be homosexual is okay, because of this book! Does this community not have common sense? I’ve said time and time again, Warren Peece should be banned! This is a disgrace. It is absolutely...

Eddie Proffit bursts in.

Tarter: Ah. Mr. Proffit.

Eddie: Ah. Reverend Tarter. Can I just say something?

Tarter: I believe you said quite enough at your baptism.

Eddie: Listen, I know you never got along with my dad and now it’s hard to get along with me.
And I know you think Warren Peece can actually be harmful. I know you want the best for us, so I just have one question for you.

Tarter: Eddie, I don’t believe...

Eddie: Would you just listen, for once?

Second of silence.

Eddie: Thank you. I just wanted to ask: did you read the book?

Tarter: Excuse me?

Eddie: Did you read the book?

Tarter: I don’t...didn’t...couldn’t...NO! It’s filth.

Eddie: How do you know that if you haven’t read it?

Tarter: I’ve seen enough to know.

Eddie: Glancing at Billy. An old friend taught me that if you don’t try to understand other people and their opinions, you won’t understand anything at all. I read the bible, why don’t you read Warren Peece?

Tarter: Because it’s...it’s...

Montana bursts in.

Tarter: What now?

Montana: Excuse me! Pushes through to the podium. Sorry, I’m late. My dad wouldn’t let me out of the house until I finished my homework.

Shoots Maxwell West a glare.

Maxwell West: Montana, this is not the time or the place. We’ll talk about this at home...

Montana: Ignoring her father, clears her throat loudly. One out of three girls is sexually abused. One out of five boys. Approximately one in ten people are gay. Anywhere from twenty to sixty-five percent of students in high-school are sexually active in someway. Can’t give you the statistic on drug and alcohol use in our school, but it’s safe to say there isn’t a teenager in this room who doesn’t know at least three kids who are in trouble. Every class has at least one kid who’s anorexic or bulimic and one who cuts himself.

Those are some of the issues in Warren Peece. Mr. Tarter, and the rest of you teachers too: the next time you stand in front of your classroom, look around the room, and do the math. Ask yourself if you have the bal-courage to talk to us about them.

I read the book. I was pushed for time when it was assigned, and I was going to scam it; you know, read a little and pry the rest out of my friends or Ms. Lloyd, and slide with a B. But then you guys tried to censor it, so I read every word. Twice.

And it was really cool because a bunch of kids started talking about the issues and the characters and all the things teachers say they want us to talk about in regard to a book. You need to understand- some of my friends have never read a book cover to cover; they take pride in being ignorant. But they read this book and they liked it, and that’s all anyone should have to say.

I know we don’t have a prayer to stop the banning of this book, because I know how many of you are Red Brickers. So go ahead. Take it. We’ll find it and read it, and we’ll post a list at the city library of every book you banned and read every one of them. We’ll carry them, front cover out, all over campus, and we’ll talk about them, loud, with one another.

We think you’re cowards when you won’t talk with us. If you don’t want to lose us, stop trying to tell us how to think. It makes it almost impossible to respect you.

Montana storms from the podium to huge applause from the kids. Chaos breaks out once more. Lights dim. Scene changes.

Act II: Scene IV

One light on Billy and Eddie on the Sledding Hill. Second light on Tarter removing books from a bookshelf.

Billy: Okay if I go down with you?

Eddie: Billy, I don’t want you to go. You promised.

Billy: And I’ll keep that promise.

Eddie: You’ve done so much for me.

Billy: You did it yourself.

Eddie: I don’t want you to go.

Billy: You don’t need me anymore.

Eddie: You’re wrong.

Billy: You always were stubborn. Besides, you’ve made new friends. Chad and my Dad. Montana...

Eddie is embarrassed.

Eddie: I guess it’ll never be the same.

Billy: You’re right, it won’t be the same. It’ll be better. I’ll see you again before you know it.

Eddie: I’m going to miss you so much, man. Hugs Billy.

Billy: I’ll miss you, too. So are we going to go down this hill or what?

Eddie: Yeah, let’s do it!

OPEN ENDING: Slide down hill? Pulled off stage on sled? Run off stage together?

Tarter exits.

Last on stage: empty bookshelf.

THE END.

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